Monday, December 15, 2008


My pastor said a few weeks ago: "Sometimes relationship is more important than being right."
Wow. It seems to be the theme of my life right now.
I've always prided myself in being pretty quick to apologize, at least professionally. In my ministry, working with other churches, pastors, and organizations, diplomacy often means apologizing for things that weren't your fault. So I've had practice.
Today I gave the hardest apology ever. It's not the offense that I had a hard time apologizing for. (It was a relatively minor, stepping-on-of-toes situation, and I like to apologize quickly, thoroughly and sincerely, so I set off to do just that.) It is just that the person I was apologizing to was so nasty to me--even during the apology, that by the time she sneered, "Well. I forgive you," I wanted to say, "Well, don't. Because I take my apology BACK!"
It occured to me during my drive home, as I fought back angry tears, that perhaps I am too proud of my humility. Maybe I take a perverted sense of being "right" when I apologize for being wrong--after all, I'm being the BIG one, the one with the chutzpa to "take one for the team". And when someone isn't so quick to dismiss what I feel is a small infraction, my true feelings come out. That it "isn't fair", that "I didn't do anything wrong", "she was so mean to me", "whine, whine, whine"......
So I have some new things to ponder. Some more iron sharpening my iron. *sigh*


  1. uuughhh. I hate that feeling!!! ANd I too hate apologizing for something I feel I did not do. And suck it up and, as you put it, take one for the team. Interesting points you made about it being a lack of humility.
    It seems I am constantly asking forgiveness for being selfish. I never thought myself a selfish person, but in reality, I really am. Love you Mary, and sorry someone was so ugly to you! Point 'em out to me...cause, "I know a guy..." lol

  2. Thanks for allowing us to see inside your heart Mary. I admire you because you don't hold things in. You tell it like it is. I'm sorry that someone didn't really accept your apology and I know it was hard on you. Thanks for giving us all something to ponder about.