Loss

It’s taken me 4 days and at least 5 attempts to blog this. Then I decided to edit it for confideniality reasons. *Sigh*
One of the families we minister to lost their mama Thursday. It is absolutely heart breaking. She had five children and two grandchildren that lived with her. We were the same age.
All we know is her kidneys stopped working. Well, that’s not all we know....
The kids thought she had the flu. Listening to them, how they tried to get her to eat, and their sad attempts to nurse her, was just pitiful.
Her family: grandmother, sisters, aunts, drove for an hour to sign a ‘Do Not Resuscitate” Order......and then drove back home. When the doctor made his rounds, and explained that the order prohibited him from doing dialysis to save her life, everyone had to be rounded back up to rescind the order. Utter chaos ensued and she never got the treatments.
I was with the kids all day, from morning—when I picked them up to take them to the hospital to visit their mom, to 9:30 pm-- several hours after she went to be with Jesus. I have never seen anything like the scene in that hospital hallway. Two family members were drunk already and yelling at the kids for not calling an ambulance sooner, not being at the the hospital faster....infuriating. They also demanded that the children pack up their stuff immediately to go back with the family (about 1.5 hours away), which Kerra (16) took very badly. Basically she screamed and cried and begged and had to literally dragged out of the hospital. I talked one of the Aunts into letting her stay one more night and say goodbye to her friends at school. She stayed with my assistant Vivian, who also spent most of the day at the hospital. She is pretty close to the family, and has offered to take the two younger children in so they won’t have to stay in Cordele while their older siblings stay in Valdosta.
I still can’t believe that it was just last week that I saw Mrs. Renee, when we were cutting up in the driveway. I can’t help feeling like it was such an unnecessary loss. And my heart goes out to those babies who lost their mama so suddenly. And honestly, I’m sad for me, too. I’ve known the family for over 8 years...Terica (9) was just a baby when I met them! I liked Mrs. Renee a lot, she was a good woman, a good mama, and she will be missed. If the kids have to stay in Cordele, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like not to see them twice a week!
So pray for the kids, that God’s will will be done in their lives, that He will comfort and protect them. And pray for me. Because I’m so sad.

Exhausted

I am utterly exhausted. The days go by and at the end of it, I haven't completed the task I put at the top of my list. Why does that keep happening?
Since E is staying with us while she recuperates, there is a lot more on my ever-increasing plate lately. Plus, since E. is out of commission, I've had to find a new babysitter while I'm at Bible Club. Today I put the kids in Mother's Morning Out to try to get ready for the two presentations I have to make this week. Also, this is the first week we are implimenting a new schedule at Bible Club which puts me home 30 minutes later than usual. I guess it was a little much for little Cole, because about 7:00pm CJ called me and said Cole was having a meltdown. Apparently he had fallen asleep on the floor, wet his pants and when the sitter tried to change him, he wigged out and started crying for me. By the time I got him on the phone, he was refusing to change his clothes until I got home and crying hysterically.
But now I'm home, everybody's had a bath, including E. (o: , and we're about to read stories and cuddle.
Deep breath. And it all starts again tomorrow.

Holy Cow! I haven't written a blog in forever. Almost a month, even. It's not that I don't have anything to say, I'm just too busy. And I don't like it.
Well, first of all, updates:
Maddy is learning to use the potty. She's doing a good job, and is very into the "I can do it" stage. And for the most part, she can! She started a mini-revolution in her nursery class when she went peepee in the potty and her teacher gave her a skittle. Suddenly EVERYBODY wanted to use the potty! (o:
Cole's best friend in the whole world, Canaan, is moving this week, and I finally got the nerve up to tell Cole. His realization is coming in stages, but I'm so sad for him. I'm sad for Maddy, too, who loves Canaan's little brother, Zion. She calls him "My Zion". AND I'm sad for me, too, since their mom, Bethany is someone I would consider a very, very good friend, and I will miss her desperately while she's gone. The good news is, they will return.
CJ is doing well in school, and learning to manage his pre-teen hormone imbalance bit by bit. Ultimately, he's a great kid, but oh, help me--the mood swings. Anyway....
Casey's business is going well, which means lots of fighting for us! (o: It's kind of funny at the moment, but of course when his business is doing well, he's working a lot, and that makes it hard on me, and we don't see each other much. I don't handle being too busy very well, but I'm learning to cope.
Casey's mom is staying with us for a little while, while she recovers from hip replacement surgery. We spent the week getting Casey's office moved into our room, so she could have the office to live in. She's here now, and the kids are very happy, but she is pretty fragile. Poor thing. Ya'll pray for her.
There are more blogs kicking around in my head, but for now that'll have to be good enough. I'm going to watch Heroes with my hubby!!!

120+ hours

I've decided to "fast" recreational computer-time for the rest of this week.
I get so frustrated with my lack of time to get things done. I never have time to finish the laundry, I never have time to clean up, I never have enough time to play with my children.....on top of that, I have "real work" to do-- meaning outside the house stuff (that I actually do inside the house)--newsletters, meetings, etc.
I sound like I'm pouting, I'm really not. I like having a lot to do (a long time ago, I had to ask God to forgive my pride in my "busy-ness"). I just don't like not having enough time to do it in. I have this re-occurring dream about a tidal wave crushing me and my family that I always have when things are bad--even if I'm not conscious of feeling overwhelmed.
I've had it two nights in a row.
So I figure I'd do an experiment to see if I stay off Facebook, and don't read any blogs for a week, if there would be more time for other things.
To be very honest, I'm doing it because I'm aggravated with my wonderful husband for spending so much time working. He lives in our home office. I know he's got a lot of work to do, but last night there were several windows open with YouTube open and other silly stuff, and I KNOW how much time he can waste on that. I was on my way to chew him out, when God said I better get my own stuff in line first. So there you go, no more extra-curricular computing, at least this week.
I'll still check my Yahoo, since I need to for the ministry, so if you need me, you know where to find me!