Monday, January 5, 2009


I was seven years old when my sister was born. Because of the way our household functioned (or didn't) I was already stepping into the (unhealthy) role of "grownup", so it was more like she was my baby than my sister. Later, when I was grown up and on my own, she moved in with me and stayed until she met her husband. She's still my baby, always will be. Her middle name is very appropriate: Blessing.

We are very strange together. The older we got, the harder it was for some people to tell us apart. People still get us confused occasionally (even though I'm truly beginning to look over 30, and she still looks like a young 'un). We speak our own language, and can talk about completely different subjects in the same conversation, deftly switching back and forth, picking up where we left off, and never missing a beat.

Realizing how weird we are at times, here's a conversation we were having today, while I did the dishes.

Me: Somebody should provide the service of putting non-stick back on non-stick pans after they get sticky. 'Cuz sticky non-stick pans are terrible.

Autumn: Someone does, I think. They make a spray.

Me: Really? Well, I want someone else to do it for me.

Autumn: Using non-stick pans isn't good for you if you use really high heat.

Me: Define high heat.

Autumn (ignoring me): If it gets too hot, it will get into your food and it's not good for you. And if you're a parakeet it will kill you.

Say what?? Who stores this kind of information in their brains? Why would you cook a parakeet's food anyway?? Why bring it up at all?

Here's a classic Autumn story (there are a few): I was in the kitchen, and as I walked out, she came around the corner and we nearly bumped into each other. She was startled, and said, "OH! I thought you were ME!!"
Just think about that one for a minute. Let it sink in.

Put all three of us interesting siblings together and here's what you get:

A few Christmases ago, my brother and I were joking around, somehow got on the subject of aphrodisiacs. (We were probably talking about how disgusting raw oysters are, how much like boogers they seem, and then just declined from there--who knows, I don't remember, and besides, it's not the point...) So Autumn overheard our aphrodisiac conversation, and fresh from her trip to Europe, feeling a little smug, goes, "Oh I saw a statue of one of those!!"

My brother and I immediately stopped and looked at each other, and then at her and said in stereo, "Oh, I gotta to hear this." Sensing some serious sibling ridicule coming, she became hesitant, but still pretty confident. "Well, we were in this museum, and there was a statue of an aphrodisiac." Stifling a giggle, my brother says, "Oh? What does it look like?"

She looked at us both for a moment, and said sheepishly, "Well, you know. It had both things."

AFTER we finally stopped laughing, I explained, with tears running down my face, the difference between and aphrodisiac and a hermaphrodite.


  1. Thanks, I hope my humiliation makes someone laugh. You never finished our conversation about nonstick pans though.

  2. awwww If you only knew how many people wished they had sisters like you guys . . . sigh
    (I wouldn't have know what either of those words were Autumn so don't feel bad.)

  3. LMAO - tears are running down my face. Good thing neither one of you have a parakeet!

    After the fight I've had with my kids about sleeping, I need a good laugh.

  4. Autumn-- HUMILIATION??? No, that wasn't my intention!! You're not stupid, just funny and you have a unique brain, and I love you for it. That was my whole point. Also, that my brain is also unique and that I love how we tend to be on the same wave-length most of the time!!! In my next blog I'll finish our conversation about non stick pans.

  5. You two sound just like my sisters and I. There are four of us, so it is the same thing, only doubled. I'm telling you, siblings are AWESOME! Enjoy every minute - you are sooooo blessed to live in the same town. Please, please appreciate it, and have fun. I am insanely jealous!

  6. oh my goodness...that was too funny!!! love it! I too wish I had sisters! Although my baby brother and I can spar back and forth, it is fun.

  7. this blog made me miss my sister...our relationship is very much the same.